.equalifornia.

Today, as of 5:01 p.m., same-sex couples in California have begun to marry!  San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom personally wed Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin, co-founders of Daughters of Bilitis and girlfriends for 55 years.  They originally were married in 2004 when Mayor Newsom issued same-sex marriage licenses in San Francisco, but they were one couple of thousands whose marriage was then annulled.  This evening, like many other same-sex couples, they were finally able to marry.  It was beautiful - I strongly suggest googling a bunch of these poignant, love-filled photographs.  I just had to add one to the bottom of this post.

In other news, the anti-gay hate groups are trying, in their desperation, to block the gender-neutral marriage licenses from being legal, saying that “the marriage forms were illegally changed without due process.”  To this I say, come on!  If the CA Supreme Court refused to grant a stay in their decision because of your “the [bigoted] people’s voice” argument, how will this hold sway?  Of course, this will be going in front of the Sacramento court, which I will have to research further to determine its composition.

Still, tonight is a time for celebration, and tomorrow, June 17th, every county in California will LEGALLY issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

This post is dedicated to everyone who helped fight for victories like this one, in ways big and small, and it is specifically dedicated to Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin.  Congratulations.

Circa 1955

 Married at last!

Who would want to deny these women their political rights and security?  Who would want to degrade their love?

Join me to vote in favor of LOVE - EQUAL love - in November.  And again, congratulations, Phyllis and Del.

Happy Father’s Day!  I am happy to report that Norway legalized same sex-marriage on June 12th, making it the sixth country in the world in which same-sex couples may legally wed.  To review, the other five countries are: Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, South Africa, and Spain.  This is a great triumph for same-sex Norwegian couples; I am overjoyed that it passed by a two-thirds margin in Parliament!  Now it’s time for the United States to step up.

Meanwhile, in Britain, the Anglican Church [you know, the one founded by Henry VIII, godly wife-killer extraordinaire, to get around Catholicism’s ban on divorce] is performing an “investigation” into a “wedding-like” ceremony that took place between two [male, because of course women are banned] priests. 

It still makes me shake my head to think how angry and riled-up some heterosexual people get at the thought of other people living their own lives and being happy.  I was reading the Sacramento Bee a few Sundays ago and there was a section on people’s reactions to the CA Supreme Court’s ruling.  It was definitely a mixed bag, which is quite in line with the field poll showing people divided down the middle, 51% supporting same-sex marriage.  There were the letters making parallels between same-sex marriage and interracial marriage as well as letters speaking about “perversion”.  When will people figure out that forcing their brand of morality onto others is not what the Constitution is supposed to be about?  It doesn’t matter if their deity hates me and cries when he/she/it thinks about me having sex as he/she/it obsessively peers into my window.  It’s about equal protection under the laws.

Sometimes, at the end of the day, I think, wouldn’t it just be lovely to move to Norway?  But I know I have to fight this fight.  We all do.

So, I knew that Bill O’Reilly is a huge homophobe, as evidenced by many clips from his show, but particularly this one:

So, I was deeply… curious when I saw the title of this video on RedLasso.com: “Even Bill O’Reilly runs out of reasons to oppose same-sex marriage” . Go check it out for yourself!

Basically, O’Reilly admits that being opposed to same-sex marriage on any sort of remote “legal” ground is bullshit. [The religious reasons are also bullshit, but a.) they’re irrelevant in making a legal argument, b.) apparently O’Reilly thinks they won’t matter enough, which proves California voters are secular enough to be reasonable, which is great, and c.) I could go on rants about the irrationality of religion forever, but that would be tangential.] But let me repeat that: O’Reilly admits that being opposed to same-sex marriage on any sort of remote “legal” ground is bullshit.

I am under no illusions that he’s an honest man who is going to decide to support it; I just realize that he made the slightly foolish blunder of videotaping this session of doubt instead of meeting in a back room to strategize better how to justify bigotry to an increasingly-tolerant constituency. He’s just searching for some good new ideas to use to fight The Good Fight, and predictably, the guest attorney guy couldn’t give him any. Just like the guest attorney representing the State of California couldn’t give the CA Supreme Court any, and just like the attorneys who wanted to put a stay on justice couldn’t deliver any. Because it makes no sense to keep same-sex marriage illegal.

O’Reilly, sir - you are a dinosaur. Does it worry you, perhaps?

The CA Supreme Court has denied the stay that anti-gay hate coalitions were attempting to put on the ruling in favor of same-sex marriage! This means that California will in fact begin issuing marriage licenses June 17th for same-sex couples!

The ballot initiative in November remains to be defeated, but this does mean that any same-sex marriages performed between June 17th and the November election should remain legally valid. And with a bunch of marriages already performed by November, the opposition will look even more ridiculous in attempting to stop the flow of equality once it has begun in such full force!

Today’s ruling by the CA Supreme Court was expected by EQCA, but I am nonetheless incredibly comforted and relieved!

Now let’s see what we can all do to help this victory! Here are two great options: you can sign up to volunteer for EQCA , and you can also donate to the Human Rights Campaign -your donation will be matched up until midnight on June 16th! This is the perfect way, especially if you can’t afford to donate much, to have your contribution doubled. [I personally have to wait for my paycheck on Friday and make my last payment on my fiancee’s engagement ring, but I’m heading right over to that website! ]

EQCA also just sent out an e-mail informing everyone about some other great updates on LGBTQ campaigns that just passed the first round in the CA State Senate, including:

+Harvey Milk Day on May 22

+Increased protection for elderly LGBTQ Californians / cultural training for workers in retirement homes etc.

+Update in non-discrimination law to protect LGBTQ Californians more fully in the areas of insurance and government services.

So all in all, the news is making my day

As of last night [as we knew was coming] the ballot initiative to amend the CA Constitution to ban same-sex marriage officially qualifies to be on the ballot in November. The anti-gay hate coalitions have raised over a million signatures to get on the ballot; they only needed somewhere over 700,000.

In a different vein, Barack Obama is officially the Democratic candidate for president in November as of tonight. As I think about Obama’s triumph, I ask myself, what will he do for LGBTQ Americans?

Although Obama and Clinton both proclaim their commitment to diversity, inclusiveness, and equality, and both have substantial records of such commitment, both candidates continually refuse to support same-sex marriage. Both cling instead to the idea of “civil unions”, which inevitably is a “separate but equal” cop-out that leaves LGBTQ couples with diminished social recognition and very frequently, diminished rights. As I see members of the LGBTQ community rally around one or the other or both, I can never fully feel satisfied and joyous, because my life aspirations are still being negated. Even tonight, in Clinton’s speech of defeat, she told her rapt audience that she “sees” everyone and their plights. Perhaps she sees me, but does she care? And if she cares, does she care enough to rustle some people’s feathers to actually stand up for what is right?

I still contend that if all the main Democrats, not just heroes like Dennis Kucinich, stood up and voiced their support for same-sex marriage, they wouldn’t have to fight over who was best at getting the “gay vote” without actually acting too liberal - Democrats would have to vote for one of them, and maybe same-sex marriage would be seen more as the completely obvious issue that it is.

Of course, despite my hesitation to rejoice over Obama [or Clinton], I acknowledge that McCain would be yet worse for the LGBTQ community. Someone who supports “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”, who voted against including sexual orientation as a category of victimization in hate crimes, and who voted against protecting LGBTQ people from discrimination and harassment in the workplace does not deserve my vote.

Maybe Obama should take to heart the very accurate parallel made between same-sex marriage and the precent established in Loving v. VA: if he thinks it would have been horrible for his parents to not be able to marry due to the banning of interracial marriage, how is this any different? He consistently skirts the issue when pressed with that very question, and my attitude about “YES WE CAN!” continues to remain skeptical as a result.

After seeing the excellent event “Save Same-Sex Marriage in CA! ” on Facebook, I first called his Sacramento office to register my support, then decided to write an e-mail to Governor Schwarzenegger. This is a rough approximation of my words, since I was not able to save the text:

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger,

As a young person, a college student, a lesbian, and a registered California voter, I am thrilled that the California Supreme Court has finally ruled in favor of my right to marry my fiancee and enjoy the same economic privileges, legal protection, and social recognition that heterosexual people already have. It is to my deep dismay that anti-gay hate coalitions are now attempting to both amend the California Constitution in November to ban the legality of my life and to put a stay on the Court’s ruling until then. Does the anti-gay group “Save California” not realize that a key part of the Constitution is to protect minority rights from the “tyranny” of the majority? If they are so inclined to believe that the Court’s ruling is “tyranny”, they need to realize that forcing my life into illegality just because they decided to hate me is truly “tyrannical”.

I am writing to acknowledge your appropriate stance on the issue of not interfering with the Court’s ruling, which is a refreshing stance since I know that you vetoed the California State Legislature not once but twice on the issue of same-sex marriage; thus, same-sex marriage would already be legal in the state of California if it wasn’t for you. I’m thanking you for your current rational stance, and I hope that all those who once harbored bigotry will in turn see that this issue is not about “declining morality” - it’s about recognizing and protecting LGBQ families from others’ hatred.

Sincerest regards,

S.W.

For those who want to contact the Governor about this issue and did not click the Facebook link or do not have Facebook, here is the info:

Phone: 916-445-2841 ; push “1″ if you want English, “2″ for Spanish, then “5″ for hot topics, and “0″ to speak to a staff member.

And click here for the link to e-mail the Governor! When you scroll down through the issues, click “Supreme Court Decision on Same Sex Marriage”.

So, let me introduce myself. I am a college student who attends college in lovely western Massachusetts. In the spring of my sophomore year, I met this girl who I’d known only as an acquaintance before, but whom I got to talking with for hours in the library about politics and really “clicked” with. That very night we began a whirlwind romance that, a year later, resulted in an engagement and a stronger-than-ever bond, with promises of a shared life and laughter and countless adventures.

The thing that trips us up is that we’re both female - gasp, lesbians! - and so our relationship / lives are seen as somehow less legitimate than romantic unions comprised of a man and a woman. In thinking about our future and planning for grad school, we not only have to think about programs, faculty, location, et cetera, but how well we will be “accepted” into the community instead of being harassed and targeted for persecution. This permeates every facet of our lives together, but as of late, as we’ve announced our engagement to our families and friends, we’re faced more than ever with how we will even logistically get married, since pre-May 15th, Massachusetts was the only state in which we could marry.

So what’s the big deal, right? We go to school in Massachusetts! Well, after same-sex marriage was legalized in Massachusetts on May 17th, 2004, then-Governor Mitt Romney decided, in homophobic fury, to resurrect a 1913 law - a law that sprang out of racist bigotry - preventing non-residents from marrying in Massachusetts. As a California resident, this is a problem for me. Therefore, I would have to intend to reside in Massachusetts after our marriage in order to get married in the first place, and as much as I adore the Pioneer Valley and in particular Northampton, I have other places to go And of course, as soon as we left Massachusetts, our marriage would have been null anywhere else in the United States. Add to the fact that even if we’d stayed in Massachusetts forever, the federal government still doesn’t recognize same-sex marriage, so we’d be forced to file federal income taxes separately, thus flying in the face of the legitimacy and deep personal significance of our relationship as well as denying us joint tax benefits, and we wouldn’t be able to get other privileges such as Social Security. Imagine, going through all that and only being allowed to live in one state, and then not even being recognized in yet other ways.

Thus, we railed against the injustice and lamented and had many long deep talks about it - the kind of talks that brought us together that warm spring night over a year ago.

So, imagine our immense joy when on May 15th, 2008, the California Supreme Court ruled in favor of the constitutionality of same-sex marriage! We’d been following the case obsessively, tracking Equality California [EQCA] and the National Center for Lesbian Rights [NCLR] for all updates and remote signs of any glimmer of a decision; I’d even signed up for updates directly from the CA Supreme Court. I remember the night before, anxiously not being able to sleep, and then checking my e-mail inbox the next day in the first minutes after the ruling was to be made, scarcely believing my eyes and then rushing off to tell my beautiful fiancee that yes, my home state was actually going to join her home state in giving us equal rights. We hugged, we cried, we even screamed And we told everyone about it to share in the great news.

As we hear about the right-wing efforts to put an initiative on the November CA ballot amending the California Constitution to overturn the CA Supreme Court’s ruling, as well as the same right-wing organizations’ attempts to put a stay on the ruling until after the vote in November, my heart sinks and is heavy with bitterness and worry, wondering how these people can feel so righteous in denying us our happiness and basic economic and physical security. That is what I will be dealing with in this blog: my life, my love, others’ hatred, and the politics of an entire state attempting to decide if I shall have equal rights in November. We swing in the balance, and as we, along with countless others, ride this crazy tide together, I will keep this blog as a record.

I do hope you enjoy, relate, or at least learn a bit.